Cry?

I don't usually cry..
I only cried because of family, or Jesus..
Besides, I only cried because of friends..

It's like I always do the wrong things in friendship..
It's not that I betrayed them or what..
It's that, my words, always be the sword that hurt my friends..
Although I didn't intend to do that..
Things just happened like that..

I hate myself for that..
Maybe, some people hate me for that too..
Because, I don't care about other's feeling when I say something..
And I claim that as being honest and straight..
However, I'm being straight without considering how my words may hurt people..

I once saw a post, saying that, sometimes, people don't need you to be honest..
Yea.. I think I may as well just keep my mouth shut..

Whenever I did something wrong, I can hardly say it..
It's like "Sorry seems to be the hardest word"..
Maybe I didn't have enough to say it..
I wanted to..

I always think that writing it out will be easier and better..
However, I found that the fact is another way round..
Through writing, people can't feel your real feelings and even your attitude..
Like, who knows what you are thinking when you are typing..
It's like it's better to say it out..

But whenever I wanted to talk,
they didn't want to hear..
So, my courage just vanished the minute when they refuse to hear me out..
Maybe they are trying to have a time of their own..
No matter what it is..

I need to learn to be braver..
Tell them I'm sorry..